How Working Made Me Feel Guilty

Making the decision of going back to work or staying at home to take care of your child can be an emotionally challenging experience. Of course as a single mom I had no choice in that matter but to go back  to work to earn a living. And at work I feel very much concerned whether or not I made the right decision.

Leaving my son everyday to go to work is such a challenge. Leaving him for such long periods of time makes me worry a lot. I worry that he might not be well taken care of. Or that he will not stop crying til I come back home. I feel that I am neglecting him and it made me feel guilty.

My emotional attachment and sense of responsibility to him is what makes me feel guilty. Being too busy or too tired and not being able to afford everything my son wants also makes me feel guilty. Relying on television to occupy him while I'm doing housework and a lack of patience make matters worse. And then I start questioning myself, whether I am a good enough mom. Am I doing a good job raising my son? I feel that I do not care well for him the way I should.

After reading some articles about working moms and watching talk shows, I found out that I'm not the only one feeling this way. It kinda helped me to know that, cuz it made me feel less inadequate knowing that I am not alone. There are other mothers like me who are also clueless with what they're doing sometimes.

I've learned that guilt is a very useless emotion because it does not help. Knowing this made me want to make steps on how I can get rid of it, or manage it at least.

The first step I did is to be happy and confident with the decisions I've made and pray for the decisions I'm about to make. Secondly, I try to make it up with my son during the weekend when I don't have to work. I spend the whole day with him doing nothing but fun stuff. I ignore the chores and just have fun.

After going through all of that, I've learned that accepting that I am not perfect is very much helpful. Knowing my fears and overcoming them makes me feel better about myself and eventually become a better mom.